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Teens

Poems - Teens Only!

Ana, Mia, and Inspiration

 
 
 
 Ana, Mia, and Inspiration
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MoonlitDreamer
FFP Veteran Poet

USA
221 Posts

Posted - 06/26/2012 :  11:29:17 PMMoonlitDreamer's Poems
The thinspo, pro-ana, and pro-mia thing has got a bit of a hold on me. I have had problems with eating before. I'd binge and then the next couple of days eat only when necessary and only enough to keep my blood sugar up. Sometimes I would only eat to keep my blood sugar up even if I didn't binge.
It's hard to fight this stuff, but I’m trying. Yes I am thin. I might weigh 120lbs at 63 inches. I just don't see myself as thin enough. This may or may not end up being a poem I continually write.


Seeing a forum about thigh gaps
Reading something about "thinspo"
Curiosity taking over, I Google it
"It's purely seeing what this is" I tell myself
The pictures showing thin bodies, not unlike the one I had
Suddenly wishing I had that again
Clicking out of that, banishing the dark thoughts
Reading about how so many love tiny thigh gaps
Not being able to help myself, I check and see I don't have one
My thighs are huge in my eyes, my stomach looking pudgy
Deep inside my mind I know I'm thin
But right now I don't see it, every bit of possible fat is accentuated

Looking up pro-ana and pro-mia thingd
Chanting to myself it's just research
Seeing more and more skinny bodies, making me want it even more
The ounce of control I had disappears
"One bowl of ice cream won't hurt" I think to myself
The self-loathing rearing its ugly head in the form of hunger
Not long after I find myself kneeling in front of the toilet
Stomach churning, toothbrush in hand
But nothing will come up
Some time passes with nothing, I force myself to give up

Curiosity takes ahold once again
I once again look up pro-mia but this time tips
Finding how to purge
The best foods to purge
The hardest things to come back up
I can feel an obsession starting, but don't try to stop myself
Pro-ana tips next, taking it all in
The need to be a size one taking over
Maybe even a size zero again

Seeing dinner I know I can't skip a meal, or purge it
I eat as little as possible
Hating every bite of the steak and fries
And yet relishing it at the same time
All I want is to be a size one

Edited by - MoonlitDreamer on 11/04/2012 3:51:54 PM

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PerfectlyBroken
FFP Veteran Poet

USA
250 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2012 :  10:52:47 AMPoems by PerfectlyBroken
Wow sad poem. Very relatable ^_^
Great job!!
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MoonlitDreamer
FFP Veteran Poet

USA
221 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2012 :  2:47:27 PMPoems by MoonlitDreamer
Thank you.
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