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JoshMaynard
Starting Member
United Kingdom
3 Posts |
 Posted - 11/06/2009 : 5:08:33 PM
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The Seeds of hate hath been sown,
Our Masters doth position their drones,
To battle for the worthy cause,
To kill in vain with no remorse. |
Edited by - JoshMaynard on 11/07/2009 06:57:01 AM |
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chapzgothlove
New Member
12 Posts |
Posted - 11/06/2009 : 5:27:15 PM
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wow u hit home.
short but beautiful
and so rigt
great job |
keepnitcrunkppl |
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pongener
Junior Member
India
57 Posts |
Posted - 11/06/2009 : 5:36:01 PM
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| wow! i love it! |
Pongener
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"Life is a profound poem written in prose" |
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Poetry Granny
Average Member
193 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2009 : 06:43:16 AM
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| Nice poem. Just please support the drones not the cause. "To kill in vein (vain) with no remorse"...And yes, the drones have remorse...just talk to them upon their return. I have a friend who served as a medic in Vietnam. He still has horrible dreams and refuses to visit the Vietnam Memorial. War is such a sad, sad thing. |
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JoshMaynard
Starting Member
United Kingdom
3 Posts |
Posted - 11/07/2009 : 07:44:31 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Poetry Granny
Nice poem. Just please support the drones not the cause. "To kill in vein (vain) with no remorse"...And yes, the drones have remorse...just talk to them upon their return. I have a friend who served as a medic in Vietnam. He still has horrible dreams and refuses to visit the Vietnam Memorial. War is such a sad, sad thing.
Thanks for your comments - it was meant to be a sarcastic statement from a soldier about how they're expected to kill in vain with no remorse. I built the sarcasm through contrasting "Worthy" and "Vain". |
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dbadb
New Member
USA
20 Posts |
Posted - 11/08/2009 : 6:57:29 PM
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Interesting! Strong summarizing, a mixture of early dialect and sci-fi; naturally, feeling no remorse, is a given for drones, but, these are by no means, drones, are they?
Stay creative, dbadb |
David Burger |
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JoshMaynard
Starting Member
United Kingdom
3 Posts |
Posted - 11/09/2009 : 12:25:52 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by dbadb
Interesting! Strong summarizing, a mixture of early dialect and sci-fi; naturally, feeling no remorse, is a given for drones, but, these are by no means, drones, are they?
Stay creative, dbadb
Thanks for your kind comments :)
I used "Drones" to imply the nature of service expected of our soldiers at war; a service without explanation.
It might not be absolutely clear so sorry :D It's only a quick draft so thought I would share it with you guys!
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dbadb
New Member
USA
20 Posts |
Posted - 11/10/2009 : 02:00:50 AM
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Much appreciated, Josh, I can totally relate.
I wrote something you may find interesting, its called "No God Blessed America", I'd be delighted to hear your thoughts on it
Thanks, dbadb |
David Burger |
Edited by - dbadb on 11/10/2009 02:15:41 AM |
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Ronald Doe
Moderator
USA
1574 Posts |
Posted - 11/19/2009 : 8:29:42 PM
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| Summed it up very good in just a few short lines. Great poem. |
Ronnie Doe
www.thewritingforum.net |
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A Justifiable War
