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Limericks

MAGICMAN'S MECHANIC

 
 
 
 MAGICMAN'S MECHANIC
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2013 :  1:49:32 PMmarcimarcimarci's Poems
Having fun these last few days in the response column with Bill's poem, "The Sexy Mechanic," thought this work perhaps deserved a poem of its own... :-)


MAGICMAN’S MECHANIC
Bill’s auto tire’s flat – so deflated
And on his nerves, oh how that grated!
‘Cuz a man’s not too placid
When his inner tube’s flaccid.
How that rubber needs rejuvenation!

So he called up his sexy mechanic
Who checked his tube, saying “Don’t panic!,
With some decent aeration
You’ll see re-inflation.
Your tire will be huge!, Hard!, Titanic!”

The mechanic, she did find a leak
Now and then, aging tubes need a tweak.
But with aid of her pump,
Bill’s tire now is quite plump
Of her aptitudes, this does bespeak.




Edited by - marcimarcimarci on 08/02/2013 12:37:57 AM

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Evangeline
FFP Moderator

USA
18645 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2013 :  2:14:23 PMPoems by Evangeline
Marci, I'm thinking about calling you the Black Mamba because this is going to Kill Bill. LOL

Okay, if you've never seen that movie then you have no idea what I'm talking about.
But anyway, he's gonna love this.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2013 :  6:33:22 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Hi Evangeline:
You are correct - I have not seen the movie, hence I'm clueless re: your comment (blush, blush) ahaha!!!
I do thank you so much for reading this silly one, though & for your kind comments! :-D

Edited by - marcimarcimarci on 05/24/2013 6:35:09 PM
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2013 :  7:27:41 PMPoems by magicman
It worked, my inner tube is now inflated thanks to her pump and nice rump. Well done 10. Love it.
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deborah jean
FFP Poet Master

USA
850 Posts

Posted - 05/24/2013 :  9:22:01 PMPoems by deborah jean
That very cute poem.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/26/2013 :  12:25:36 AMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Bill, I think we have an interesting mathematical equation here:
*** WOMAN WITH GOOD PUMP + NICE RUMP = INFLATION OF MAN'S INNER TUBE ***
Glad you are still speaking to me after I told all of FFP that your aging tube needed a tweak. :-D
Thanx for your kind assessment as well. Hugs. :-)
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/26/2013 :  12:28:38 AMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Hi Deborah:
Thank you so much for reading this limerick and for your kind comments! Much appreciated. :-D
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 05/26/2013 :  06:59:43 AMPoems by magicman
The inner tube went flat again and she said it had a puncture, probably pricked by a nail or screw. She said the valve was fine as she gave it the blow and suck test. She said she could put a patch on it and it would be as good as new. After she blew it up, it held and it did not go down. She's good.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/26/2013 :  1:51:05 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Wow, Bill thank you for all of that lovely material to have fun with. "U 2 funny" as I am prone to say
:-D :-D :-D
This deserves more than one comment, defo....at the outset though can I ask you a personal question? Are you still walking around all inflated? (and no wonder if she favoured you with both a blow & suck test).
Wow. Is this uncomfortable?...uh, the inflation, not the blowing & sucking. :-)
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 05/27/2013 :  06:35:10 AMPoems by magicman
Thought you would have a feeled day .....er field day.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/27/2013 :  10:55:56 AMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Yes, my dear Bill; I did have a proverbial 'feel-ed' day (and I just bet you've had a few of those in your time - in & out....of a garage!!! :-)
Um, I noticed that you skillfully dodged my query re: your well-inflated tube. :-D
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PrinceCharles
FFP Moderator

United Kingdom
19050 Posts

Posted - 05/27/2013 :  1:03:58 PMPoems by PrinceCharles
Blimey Bill is still inflated,
I think he should get mated.
If he fumbles around,
And the mechanic goes down.
Maybe she can deflate him

Edited by - PrinceCharles on 05/28/2013 01:11:18 AM
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/27/2013 :  9:31:16 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
OMGoodHeavens John, that is quite the limerick!!! Thank you - I think, heehee!!!
I can't believe you got away with penning the word 'masturbate', when FFP won't allow (learned this from Bill) the word 'pussicat' (with a 'Y')which is just odd!
Seriously, great to read one of your saucy limericks again; thanks so much :-)
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 05/28/2013 :  09:31:36 AMPoems by magicman
What is even odder is that you can write the "F" word. I see you edited the poem John. I think she would inflate rather than deflate the inner tube.
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PrinceCharles
FFP Moderator

United Kingdom
19050 Posts

Posted - 05/28/2013 :  10:47:59 AMPoems by PrinceCharles
Just to be on the safe side Bill,
don't want to upset anyone.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/28/2013 :  8:04:24 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Bill! John had to pen a word to rhyme with 'inflated', did you not, John? :-)
Now if John's first line had read:
"Blimey Bill is still awestruck"...OR..."Blimey Bill is still running amuck"
OR..."Blimey Bill still can't believe his luck", ...
Think you'd have gone for it, had one of those been your opening line, John?! :-D

Edited by - marcimarcimarci on 05/28/2013 8:05:06 PM
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/28/2013 :  8:08:46 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
John. may I just opine here that, if "the mechanic goes down" & DEFLATES him, she really needs to brush up on her technique! (wink) ;-)

Edited by - marcimarcimarci on 05/28/2013 8:11:49 PM
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PrinceCharles
FFP Moderator

United Kingdom
19050 Posts

Posted - 05/29/2013 :  11:31:06 AMPoems by PrinceCharles
Marcia not during the act but after.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/29/2013 :  1:13:15 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Ah,John, I understand. Wonderful to read another of your funny / clever limericks...thank you!!! :-D
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 05/30/2013 :  09:38:57 AMPoems by magicman
That sexy mechanic has Prince's pen flowing.
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Alice Mae
FFP Poet Laureate

USA
14203 Posts

Posted - 05/30/2013 :  10:33:35 AMPoems by Alice Mae
Pretty picture. If she can do the job, anyone would hire her. LOL!!
Nice poem. Hugs with blessings.
Love, Sis Mae
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/30/2013 :  4:33:03 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Bill, yep, John's pen is flowing - so nice to exchange bon mots with you, John!!!
I add though, that I just betcha that pic of the sexy mechanic has more than you fellas PENS flowing!!! :-)
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/30/2013 :  10:31:00 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Hi Alice Mae:
Heehee...Yes, if she is as talented with her tools as she is a hot lady, she's welcome under my hood any time (but not my hubby's, ahaha!)....Ok, I just KNOW that sentence is gonna be misinterpreted, sigh...
At any rate, many thanks to you :-D for reading this one & for your kind response! :-)
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 05/31/2013 :  06:20:34 AMPoems by magicman
My pen is too.

Sexy mechanic lapping a head,
Grinding a valve, to earn her bread.
Push rods and pistons, and compressing of rings
Replacing worn bushes, and saggy old springs,
Ball joints are lubricated, nipples pumped full,
Seized nuts are loosened, yanking on a tool.
Adjusting the timing, so these's no pre ignition,
Setting the mixture, to prevent foul emission.


Edited by - magicman on 05/31/2013 07:03:01 AM
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 05/31/2013 :  10:45:43 AMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Bill...that there is an awesome, saucy poem, I tell you what!!!
I really think you should post it on its own, though & receive credit, not hide it in my column, here.
Um, what does "lapping a head" mean- aside from the obvious interpretation?! :-)
My fav. line is "Adjusting the timing, so there's no pre ignition": this is always a good thing, as it can be a problem in the newer car model :-)
Re: "foul emissions" - check out Trumpetman's "Melissa" & "marcimarcimarci"...a funny discussion on 'emissions' going on in those 2 columns, currently.
Thank you 'muchly' for a WONDERFUL poem: LOVE IT!!!
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 05/31/2013 :  10:49:39 PMPoems by magicman
I have posted as Skilful Sexy Mechanic here in the limericks forum. http://forums.familyfriendpoems.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=52996
Lapping a head is a process of smoothing the mating surface of a cylinder head (from a car) to make sure it is perfectly flat so it mates to the engine block. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQHdXcqAo-k

Edited by - magicman on 05/31/2013 10:50:38 PM
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/01/2013 :  01:50:07 AMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Bill, so glad you posted your poem!!!
AND
so glad the sexy mechanic helped refurbish your 'saggy old springs' (never attractive)!
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Wayne Lysobey
FFP Poet Laureate

USA
2439 Posts

Posted - 06/01/2013 :  5:18:32 PMPoems by Wayne Lysobey
Very funny and extra good rhythm on this one.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/01/2013 :  11:26:18 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Hi Wayne:
I appreciate your generous comments; thank you so much for reading & posting!...this one was fun to write! :-)
Re: your mention of extra good rhythm - I think the mechanic's 'good rhythm' was in no small part responsible for the successful inflation of Bill's inner tube. :-)
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 06/02/2013 :  12:03:58 AMPoems by magicman
My inner tube seems to be getting quite a bit of attention.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/02/2013 :  11:52:08 AMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Bill, that's because a middle-aged man with a well-inflated inner tube is a rare find. :-)
Congrat's on the state of your tube! It's amazing how a good pump will inflate an ailing tube...or would that be an AGING tube, ahaha...I'm just teasin' :-)

Edited by - marcimarcimarci on 06/02/2013 11:53:29 AM
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 06/02/2013 :  7:57:09 PMPoems by magicman
Keep on teasing as it assists with the inflation.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/02/2013 :  9:26:49 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Heeheehee - Bill, you know what I'm like: your inner tube is destined to be "huge!, Hard!, Titanic!” as the poem sez, for the foreseeable future...and how many middle-aged men can say that, I wonder?!!!
I sincerely hope this doesn't become too uncomfortable. :-)

Edited by - marcimarcimarci on 06/02/2013 9:27:17 PM
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 06/02/2013 :  11:25:18 PMPoems by magicman
Too much and I could have a blow out. Maybe I should go for tubeless.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/03/2013 :  03:17:12 AMPoems by marcimarcimarci

Tubeless, eh?...so solely the hard rubber tire ('tyre' for you) :-)
....and Bill, would you having a 'blow out' be a good or a bad thing? :-D
...just askin'....
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 06/03/2013 :  03:39:25 AMPoems by magicman
If you have a good seal, who needs an innertube, as long as the valve can hold the pressure.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/03/2013 :  6:24:15 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
B-I-l-l-l-l.....DO you have a good seal????
.... and how much pressure are you under while I'm teasin' ??? :-)
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 06/05/2013 :  12:23:35 AMPoems by magicman
Keep on teasin and we'll see what blows.

Edited by - magicman on 06/05/2013 12:23:51 AM
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/05/2013 :  2:58:50 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Now THAT is a challenge I'm ready for; you up for it?! :-D :-D
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 06/05/2013 :  6:14:49 PMPoems by magicman
I am already up.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/06/2013 :  02:05:27 AMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Wow. You braggin'??? :-D
('those in charge' are being lenient with us; we haven't been expelled from the site as yet....thank you, moderators!!!) :-)

Edited by - marcimarcimarci on 06/06/2013 02:08:28 AM
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 06/06/2013 :  04:41:10 AMPoems by magicman
I just like a challenge.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/06/2013 :  1:34:26 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Bill, my teasing's running out of gas; so many car parts have been utilized ....oh, wait,I auto ask you if - hold onto your valve - :-) your return springs still have a decent bit of action in them or are these parts either seized or limp?
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 06/07/2013 :  06:37:04 AMPoems by magicman
So you are running out of gas...wait till morning.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/07/2013 :  8:07:36 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Why, do YOU have gas in the morning?! :-D No wonder your wife won't eat your ginger nuts....cookies!!! cookies!!!
P.S. I'm a woman. I don't have gas. :-)
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 06/07/2013 :  10:22:50 PMPoems by magicman
Ah yes, there is a poem about that subject by Ronnie. Ladies Don't .... http://forums.familyfriendpoems.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=13612

Edited by - magicman on 06/07/2013 10:24:10 PM
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mrafs
FFP Poet Laureate

Philippines
2608 Posts

Posted - 06/11/2013 :  9:01:05 PMPoems by mrafs
Hooooooot pic... liked the poem too ! :D
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/12/2013 :  12:53:42 AMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Bill, just re-read that poem of Ronnie's, thanx, - so very funny and clever!
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/12/2013 :  12:59:44 AMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Hi Mark:
Yes, the 'sexy mechanic' makes me feel very old...my legs looked like that once - decades ago, sigh...
My thanx for reading this one & for posting your kind response!
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magicman
FFP Poet Laureate

Australia
18262 Posts

Posted - 06/12/2013 :  04:26:11 AMPoems by magicman
And what about the butt.
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marcimarcimarci
FFP Poet Laureate

Canada
6579 Posts

Posted - 06/12/2013 :  7:25:01 PMPoems by marcimarcimarci
Yes Bill, her butt's nice too....and her boobs - they're perky.
OK, now I'm not only feeling old, but depressed. *Sigh*. ;-)
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