im not sure what to call this as its not a poem, just basically a little note i guess for my son....Written today the 25 december 2009
From the moment you were born I was in love. I was in awe of your beauty, Your innocence was nothing short Of an angel from above!
I found it hard to comprehend That you were actually mine, My very own little miracle! The missing piece of my heart. I was in awe of your beauty Amazed, that now my life was just about to start!
You don't even know it But you saved my life! I was so lost and confused Ready to end my lonely life!
But then you came along By mistake I might add! Yet the answer to my prayers, That i didn't even know i had!
I was so consumed with anger By hatred I was fueled, That i couldn't see past the world I was in, To see the joy that children could bring!
Two yrs have passed Since you came into my life. We've had our ups and downs, And you've given me plenty of strife!
I loved you as soon as I saw you! But I didn't realise that my love could grow even stronger! It seemed impossible For me to love you any more than i did! But thats exactly what happened! I fell in love! Not just because you're my son, But because of the wonderful little man you've become!
But now I feel as though my world is about to end once again! For your father and I dont get along! And before our relationship can really start, I'm so scared that its about to end!
My love, he is trying to take you from me, And I promise you I will NEVER let that happen!!! But even though I love you, More than I could EVER express, I am worried that because of my problems in the past, I may not exactly be the best.
I feel as though I am being selfish, Wanting you all for myself! But don't get me wrong, I know you need your father aswell! And I want that for you!, To have both parents that love you like you deserve!
And I'm so sorry if it is selfish of me, But I WILL NOT give up. I will not back down, And let him have you for himself! For I know if i lost you, I would literally die inside! For you are my world, The love of my life!
I know I have alot of things I need to work through, Alot to sort out to have the knowledge I need to raise you well! I will try my best baby, I will do everything I can, To ensure that you grow up to be A happy and confident young man!
I love you Taiden! So so much it hurts! I will ALWAYS be here for you, No matter what happens in the future!!!
Anita, this is excellent. The ups and down throughout it all and your honesty should be commended. It's always the child that suffers. I went six years without seeing my children because of fighting with their mother. Luckily, my patience paid off and I now have a good relationship with them and was even able to forgive their mother.