for once in my life i want to smile with joy. i want to stop liveing in this earth and live in candyland. the feelings i kant explain this i feel inside. i kant let anyone in they will make my wall of pride fall down. i kant open my heart to you you will break it like glass. i tryed to not fade in the people but that i have done. music is the only way the anger builds inside. i write it all down or cut deeply till the pain is untakeable. could you ever hug me like the way my mom did before she hated me. i want to be alone for once in my life. i need your heart or sew it in your blood. then maybe you can see how i feel now.